| The subject of loss is an area that is incredibly vast. | | | | better,healthier diet, didn't nag him to do things, etc |
| This is because we all react in different ways, and in | | | | etc.This is a terrible stage because you cannot shake |
| different timescales. This article will look at the points | | | | the conviction that if they had done something |
| along the road of loss and briefly explain the different | | | | different then the husband, dog or whatever would |
| reactions of people along this stony and difficult road. | | | | still be with them. Again deal with them gently, its no |
| Like a computer game all levels must be entered and | | | | use keep saying that it wouldn't have made any |
| exited. If by some chance you miss one, you will be | | | | difference, deep down they know that anyway, but |
| inevitably drawn back to the missed level until you | | | | still they have to process these feelings. |
| have dealt with it. | | | | - At this stage all the feelings start to tumble out. |
| - The first event is the incident itself. This could be a | | | | The anger, the blame, hurt and guilt for/ against |
| death, divorce, loss of a loved pet, etc. | | | | yourself and others. |
| - The second step is generally the activity stage. This | | | | - This is generally followed by depression. This could |
| is where one is "doing" things. Things like arranging | | | | be a deep depression or just feelings of being really |
| funerals, getting paperwork together, activities | | | | down. Sometimes it descends into depression proper, |
| related to the event. | | | | in which case you need medical intervention, but |
| - Third along the path is Denial. This is often shown | | | | mostly it stays just the other side of this. To come |
| by still laying two places for dinner, still buying the | | | | out of it needs time, understanding from your peers |
| favorite dog food. They seem to be ignoring what | | | | and family, and a realization that you are able to |
| has happened. This stage can last for a considerable | | | | cope. |
| time in some instances, and is an area where people | | | | - As you start to come out of the depression stage |
| can get stuck. Best dealt with gently. Gently point | | | | you enter the rebuilding stage of the process. This is |
| out that they don't need to buy dog food any more, | | | | where you start to follow your own life, knowing |
| move the place set for dinner, or better still you use | | | | that you will have to go forward without the loved |
| the place set yourself. What we're trying to get to is | | | | one. It doesn't mean that you forget, only that you |
| an acceptance that the person, or pet, have gone. | | | | can bear to go on alone, keeping your memories |
| But you can't do this abruptly, they have to be able | | | | dear. It helps if people start to remember things with |
| to move on at their own pace. | | | | you, rather than being afraid/concerned that they are |
| - This is where "What if" comes in . What if I had | | | | bringing to the surface terrible memories, start to |
| called the ambulance sooner, not let the dog into the | | | | recall the happy times, please don't run away from |
| garden to run, what if I had given him a | | | | the memories, that doesn't help anyone. |